Travel. Unravel.

Day 206 of the Philippine quarantine. That’s a long time of hunkering down and following minimal health protocols and curfew. So, I’ve observed a whole lot of staycation-wary and-weary citizens already out.

I don’t want to be near those people outside. Check Philippines’ stats, the most current one. While the powers and businesses-that be paint a rosy picture, some can even include a covid mascot as one of the performers in public events, it isn’t valid to ease up.

Today is rare, because someone blew a fuse as I called out a lazy action to head to the bathroom after exposure outside and within a closed, tight space.

I was not with them when they headed out, so whatever description offered that the place was practically empty and anyway a lot of children were already playing outside, did not stop me from reminding the bathroom was empty.

The refusal to immediately recognize the need to head to the bathroom on the called-out party’s side, immediately escalated to a verbal fight. In which I insisted for health and safety and that just one slip in observance of the health protocol could be that time that we all will regret.

It seemed they had the need to fight in full volume and insist washing the hands was enough and after all it was the intention to go and take a bath after finishing what looked was the early stages of cooking a not-so-quick-to-cook dish. Which meant they would stay unbathed for longer than the already long moment since entering the door.

Then the attack on me. Shots were fired one after the other about my appearance (what about???), my education (What’s the point there? Was it smart-shaming?), and also my clinging on to health protocols (I certainly don’t ascribe to using gasoline and bleach to disinfect, but try to update and upgrade behavior that saves lives), so what’s really eating this war-inciting being who shouldn’t even be screaming across me because that’s one of the no-no’s in health protocols when you have come in from outside?

For one who’s out of line, that one was unstoppable. Set in their ways.

But even if they are set in their ways, I keep plodding on firmly that they move into the bathroom as soon as possible. More attacks on me (please, they don’t even know me) and marches angrily to get that bath (finally).

When under attack for my “alleged character flaws”, I SMH because decades of self-loathing, self-introspection, and self-limiting, has led me to accept my flaws.

I know myself and I’ve curated my known flaws and put the lid on manifestation (some call it mellowing, for me it’s just not wasting my time). Pre-pandemic, I’ve put behind the days of shrinking my headspace. Like the photo above, I’m making my replacement adapter my life peg (at least one of several pegs).

Because of substantial time I’ve spent self-flagellating myself in the past, almost believing others’ disapproval of me, I now have a stash of healthy acceptance for being utterly incomplete, insufficient. I’ve armor against returning to the perennial loop of being conflicted which ID will make me avoid unnecessary suffering.

I find that even in these limiting, dangerous times, people will find ways of poking at one’s “flaws” when they’re caught red-handed.

Thing is, I have come to terms with my flaws. The explosion of personal insults today just rolled off my broad shoulders. If their perceived “flaws” triggered them, I only have one last commentary on the matter which is a shrug.

Circumstances of a pandemic means everything, every action is categorized as a matter of life and death. Their bottled-up “explosion” cannot pass off as a valid exemption.

The glaring reason didn’t seem reason enough for them to comply with the repeated call to action (go to the bathroom and bathe already), otherwise why did I have to ask why is the precaution different for just one or two?

Because in this case, they’re insisting on their seniority as a pass? Hmmm.

I wanted to be candid but I kept on throwing the obvious fact that needed to be done, disinfection, which is the one thing I will continue to participate in. This is the community effort of keeping up public health means until such time that the curve has been bent here and the daily infecteds has two digits and/or none.

Even imperfect beings should be frontliners to homes. I’ll not complain, but comply and be aware. I’ll leave others to complain, about me or anything they fancy to rant about. And I think this is all for tonight about this, because I have to clear my headspace to not slack off regarding the pandemic.

Stay well.